A time of change.

It is becoming overwhelmingly clear that my life is in the process of change. In just a few short weeks, I'll be graduating from College. This is the day that I have been looking forward to for four years. I cannot wait to be able to say that I am a college graduate! At the same time, I have this unexplainable urge to throw up. I have no clue what I am going to do or where I am going to go. 

It has become eerily regular for me to have dreams about what life has in store after I graduate. Thursday, I had a dream that McDonald's wouldn't hire me! 

As if the uncertainty of life after college isn't enough, I have one more week at what has been my weekend ministry since the fall of 07. Yesterday I woke up in a good mood. I got dressed and started the hour and a half drive to my church. As soon as I got there, I was reminded that there was only one more week left. I am shocked to say, it broke my heart. I look over the past two (ish) years and I am repulsed by the idea that I have made no difference. I look at my youth and I wonder, "do they get it?", "Do they see how important their lives are?", " do they love Jesus more than they did a year ago?", "Do they really know Jesus?".  

I look at my church as a whole and ask the same question. I have grown to love them. I have looked forward to the kind words of some, I have looked forward to giving kind words to others. FCC is great! At the same time, I ask myself... has my ministry mattered? 

Now, I have to put on a good face and go there for one more week. I have to face the tears of my youth group.... and while I do that, I will be faced the with question.... "has it mattered?" 

I was reading an article in Leadership Magazine this past week that Deals with the Economic situation of today. Gordon MacDonald sited King Jehoshaphat's prayer in 2 Chronicles 20 "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.". Earlier Jehoshaphat stated that the unity of God and his people would be maintained no matter what happened to them and voiced the peoples faith in the faithful God... "If calamity comes upon us, whether the sword of judgment or plague, or famine, we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us." 

That's pretty cool.